Yesterday was our Embryo Transfer. I realize that I am blogging a day late, but I did that on purpose. I needed yesterday to process our transfer and to organize my thoughts before sharing our Embryo Transfer with you.
Here is what our Embryo Transfer looked like:
-Due to our appointment being at 7am, we headed to Maple Grove on Friday night, rather than getting on the road so early Saturday morning. We ended up heading for a nice dinner out and stayed at a hotel near our fertility clinic.
-On our way to Maple Grove, we drove through some rain and saw these beautiful rainbows. I had Blake take a picture because what were the chances of seeing 2 separate rainbows at the same time when we were on our way to transfer 2 embryos? We have been hoping for a “Rainbow” …hmm… maybe this was a sign we will get not just 1 Rainbow Baby, but 2!?
-There was a lot of excitement (and some anxiety) before our Embryo Transfer. But, I was mostly excited to be at this point in our journey and knew that I would be leaving the clinic “Pregnant” or as many social media sites would say “PUPO” (Pregnant until Proven Otherwise). –Such a funny word! Hubby and I had a good laugh about it!
-Once we arrived at the clinic, we were taken back to the “Transfer Suite.” The nurse double-checked our identity, had me get into my gown and booties and take 600mg of Ibuprofen before the transfer.
-After meeting with the nurse, the embryologist came in to go over our embryos with us. She handed us a pamphlet that contained our “Embryo Report Card”and went over it with us. We had started with 18 eggs. 10 of those eggs were mature and were fertilized using Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection or ICSI (A process where each egg is injected with a viable single sperm, rather than surrounding the egg with sperm to let fertilization happen more naturally). Of those 10, 6 achieved fertilization. And currently, only 2 embryos were still thriving. The rest had degraded. This was unfortunate. Yes, we were thankful that we had 2 remaining, but we had hoped that this cycle would yield extra embryos so we would be able to expand our family in the future if this cycle worked, or if this cycle failed we would be able to use frozen embryos. It is much cheaper (about 1/4 of the cost to transfer frozen embryos) and I also wouldn’t have to go through the physical and emotional stress of doing injections and Egg Retrieval — So in a sense, having additional embryos to freeze would have been like a little insurance policy.
-After meeting with the Embryologist we had to wait a little while so our doctor could finish up with another Embryo Transfer. While we waited, I shed some tears. I was feeling much more anxiety now than excitement.
-Then our doctor came in and said he knew it was a bit disappointing that we only had 2 embryos left. He also said that one was stronger than the other and most likely just the one would make it. I was happy to hear that he hoped one would make it, but I would have felt better knowing that both of our remaining embryos had a good chance at survival.
-Then it was time for the Transfer. It was a relatively quick procedure. The lights were dimmed and soft relaxing music was played. My hubby was able to sit right next to me through the whole thing. A catheter was placed at just the right spot in my uterus where the embryos would be placed.
-The Embryologist then brought the embryos in. They were placed in a small tube that was inserted through the catheter that was already in place. They were inserted and that was it!
-I had to rest for about 10 minutes following the procedure and then we were free to get dressed and head home.
I’m not sure why, but I of course had an image in my head of what Embryo Transfer was going to be like. I felt like we were going to get to see and meet our little embryos, but they were just talked about and we didn’t actually see them. I also was so excited that I would be leaving the clinic “Pregnant.” But, I was so anxious about why all of the embryos had degraded that I really was feeling down and not excited at all. I felt like this was just like leaving most fertility appointments where once again I had been dealt another “crappy hand of cards.” It seems each time that there is something that just doesn’t work. So, I really should be used to these feelings, but this day I was hoping things would be different.
Once we arrived home yesterday, I was able to just sit and process of my mixed emotions. I cried a lot, prayed a lot, took a nap, and did a little research on things. Afterwards, and today, I am feeling better. I am feeling more much more hopeful. In my research, I found out that usually only 30-50% of embryos make it to a day 5 transfer. So, statistically, it was kind of “normal” to experience what we had.
I am supposed to be taking it easy these next few days, which I have been doing pretty good with so far. Lots of relaxing! Today, I decided to dig out my Fall decorations, making sure not to over do it. The season of fall just resonates Thankfulness. While putting out decorations I found this framed bible verse that I display during this season of Thankfulness. It made me realize even more that I have so much to be thankful for. Especially for these 2 small embryos that I carry within.