We completed our 5th and final Letrozole Cycle, which again was unsuccessful for us. Each cycle my emotions when I received the results of my quantitative hCG test have been so different. I feel like the first 2-3 cycles I was crushed when they called with the negative test news. I would hold it together long enough to get the nurse’s information on our next cycle and once I hung up I was a blubbering mess –feeling heartbroken, worried, and sad. These last 2 cycles I have felt much different. With our 4th cycle I remember having a sense of numbness. I felt like I was unaffected by this tough news. I didn’t cry after getting the test results. Just went on with my day. I remember with the 4th cycle I didn’t cry until seeing my husband after our work day. As soon as I told him in person (I had already sent him a text with the news right after talking to the nurse), I broke down and cried. All of those feelings I had with the other failed cycles was still there, I just was able to hold it together longer and it took much longer for all of those emotions to come to the surface. With our 5th cycle, I did not cry. I think I was just expecting it to turn out this way. Sure, I felt disappointed, but was more so looking forward to our appointment with our RE to discuss our next options. I didn’t want to dwell on the past, but rather I was focusing my attention and emotions on the future.
We originally were supposed to complete 6 cycles of Letrozole (3 cycles on, 1 cycle break, 3 more cycles on). We ended up altering this schedule when we took a trip to the Dominican Republic in March. So, we did 2 cycles on, 1 cycle off while we were heading to a vacation destination with Zika Virus risks, and 3 more cycles on. We had the option of doing that last cycle and my husband and I felt that it was better to spend our money toward something that seemed more promising. When we met with our RE he went over success rates for us for our Letrozole cycles. Letrozole cycles 1,2 and 3 there was a 20% chance that we would conceive. With Letrozole Cycle 4 there was a 16% chance that we would conceive. With Letrozole Cycle 5 there was a 12% chance that we would conceive and with Cycle 6 there was only a 6% chance that we would conceive. After hearing those statistics, it became very clear for us to not complete the 6th cycle given we only had a 6% chance of success. Of course, that 6th cycle could have been “the one.” But, we would rather put our time, effort and money into something with higher success rates!
So, with that being said, we will now be moving on to our next step in this journey of infertility.